At the beginning of March my dear friend lost her mother ( Peggy) and right before she told me the news Trumpeter swans flew overhead. This year is the first time I have ever seen them at the Cherokee Marsh and it's also the first time I have ever witnessed swans flying. I stood frozen in the front yard for a long while in awe.
I later cried on and off all day not only for the loss I felt or my friend's loss but because I realized I have been grieving a shadow loss for a long while.
When I found out new things about myself ( autism and I fit somewhere on the asexual spectrum as well) that have always been there it's been a wild ride. My body is here in the present but my mind has been even more scattered then it typically is and I am letting it all come and go.
When I heard the trumpeting of the swans I was able to let go. I think I also saw these swans as a goodbye and a hello.
Trumpeter swans were threatened/ endangered for a long time due to over hunting in the early 20th century. Due to their reintroduction to several states in the 1990s I/ we can once again witness this native swan in all of it's glory.
In my own sort of memorial to Peggy, I sent along a letter to my friend+ her family, an original woodcut print " Peggy's Trumpeter Swans" and 2 color risograph prints of the same woodcut because I can't be with them to celebrate Peggy's life.
I share all of this because we don't talk often enough about our grief. We carry it with us and we're never really done grieving because it helps us live and love.
Risograph prints titled " Grief is a cycle" will be up on my website soon in case you want a reminder to help you continue processing whatever grief you may have.
grief is a cycle